Bazzil's Joke Thread

Got something funny or interesting to post? Pop it in here.
Post Reply
User avatar
Prometheus
Bloody SimTV!
Posts: 3231
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 3:34 pm
Location: Trapped on the North Shore

Post by Prometheus » Thu Mar 31, 2005 1:05 pm

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/antcity.html


for those quiet moments at work. Esp love the petrol tanker !
YouTube videos

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Fri Apr 01, 2005 4:18 pm

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Inspector

---

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Fri Apr 01, 2005 4:19 pm

Sky have just won the rights to screen the first World Origami Championships from Tokyo. Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View......
Inspector

---

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Mon Apr 04, 2005 4:47 pm

Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son...



Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice

Son : "I will choose my own bride".

Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."

Son : "Well, in that case..."



Next Jack approaches Bill Gates...

Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter."

Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry."

Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."

Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case..."



Finally Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank...

Jack: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."

President: "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."

Jack: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."

President: "Ah, in that case....."






This is how business is done.
Inspector

---

User avatar
Prometheus
Bloody SimTV!
Posts: 3231
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 3:34 pm
Location: Trapped on the North Shore

Post by Prometheus » Sat Apr 09, 2005 10:31 am

"Take the train" you said, it would be safer.

"Nonsense, take the plane" I said, it would be safer.
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
YouTube videos

User avatar
Trooper
Posts: 216
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 11:00 am
Location: West Auckland

Post by Trooper » Sat Apr 09, 2005 12:45 pm

welcome to the usa :D
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
"To do something well is so worthwhile that to die trying to do it better cannot be foolhardy. It would be a waste of life to do nothing with one's ability, for I feel that life is measured in achievement, not in years alone."
- Bruce McLaren

User avatar
Trooper
Posts: 216
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 11:00 am
Location: West Auckland

Post by Trooper » Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:36 pm

Sleeping beauty, quazimodo and tom thumb are sitting in the pub.
sleeping beauty says 'you know, i think i must be the most beautiful person in the world?' after a moment of silence, tom thumb says 'well in that case, i must be the smallest person in the world.' a few moments later, quazimodo says 'well ive got to be the ugliest person in the world.'
tom thumb jumps up in the air and being the smart one (sleeping beauty being blonde, and quazimodo being thick) says 'lets fly to london and go see those guiness book of records people!'
The trio get on a plane and fly to london.
A few days later they're standing at the guiness book of records
After meeting with the president, they all go for coffee at a local cafe.
sleeping beauty says: 'i knew i was the most beautiful person in the world.'
tom thumb says 'and i knew i was the smallest person in the world.'
the two look at quazimodo who has a confused look on his face.
moments later he says 'who the **** is camilla parker bowles?'
"To do something well is so worthwhile that to die trying to do it better cannot be foolhardy. It would be a waste of life to do nothing with one's ability, for I feel that life is measured in achievement, not in years alone."
- Bruce McLaren

User avatar
BAZZIL
Boom Boom !
Posts: 4097
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:09 pm
Contact:

Post by BAZZIL » Mon Apr 11, 2005 2:55 pm

(:
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Boom Boom !
If ya don't know what to do, Don't ask Snake Wogers, he's got no idea.

User avatar
Mattly
Posts: 1563
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 7:48 am
Location: Auckland

Post by Mattly » Mon Apr 11, 2005 3:19 pm

The new pope.
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Mon Apr 11, 2005 3:20 pm

We know that's false Mattly, you'd never make Pope......
Inspector

---

User avatar
Biteme
Posts: 207
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 6:52 pm
Location: Wellington

Post by Biteme » Sun Apr 17, 2005 11:17 pm



LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're
not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."

:D
Why does KSR suck at FPS?

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:21 pm

Just for my new team mate Skuzz!

Welcome SkuzzleDuD :)
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Inspector

---

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:29 pm

LOL - Sorry I couldn't help myself.....Darth Tator :rofl:
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Inspector

---

User avatar
Skuzzlebutt
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 1611
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2004 1:46 pm
Location: Dagobah System
Contact:

Post by Skuzzlebutt » Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:33 pm

Inspector wrote:Just for my new team mate Skuzz!

Welcome SkuzzleDuD :)
It's beautiful. I shall treasure it...always.

It's good to be DuD.

(:
Don't make me destroy you.

User avatar
Wraith
Posts: 170
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:29 pm
Location: Palmerston North

Post by Wraith » Wed Apr 20, 2005 6:02 pm

something to fill in the time before racing, sounds like Dracos been out practicing


Insanity Test

User avatar
mikool
Posts: 434
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 8:20 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by mikool » Wed Apr 20, 2005 6:12 pm

Wraith wrote:something to fill in the time before racing, sounds like Dracos been out practicing


Insanity Test
think i lasted 30 sec's :D
Mikool...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

User avatar
Sulley
Posts: 3749
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 4:56 pm
Location: Wellington

Post by Sulley » Thu Apr 21, 2005 3:52 pm

mikool wrote:
Wraith wrote:something to fill in the time before racing, sounds like Dracos been out practicing


Insanity Test
think i lasted 30 sec's :D
I got to 45 secs, then realised I was holding my breath and then it was all over, I now also understand what Ron was doing last night with the "Insane" sound effects.... :D side note I heard a rumour those sounds were dubbed in from a recording made at a closed DuDs practice session in Inspector's garage. :D
"Hey, did you lose weight, or a limb?"
Sulley – James P. “Sulley” Sullivan

"Laughter has more power than screams"
Image

User avatar
Happy
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 1191
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 11:22 pm
Location: Palmy
Contact:

Post by Happy » Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:09 pm

I'd already seen it, but I started laughing straight away :>
:>

User avatar
Eagle32
Posts: 1150
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2005 1:31 pm
Contact:

Post by Eagle32 » Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:33 pm

It was funnier a couple of F1 seasons ago when three was just a still picture of an F1 car and that sound playing over and over :p
Cop: Are you OK?
Randolph: I don't know. I'm kinda ****ed up in general, so it's hard to gauge.
- Death to Smoochy

User avatar
Noon416
Posts: 945
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2005 11:23 am
Location: Palmerston North

Post by Noon416 » Thu Apr 21, 2005 10:38 pm

The Original

And yes, I laughed within seconds. Always have, always will. :D _b

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Wed Apr 27, 2005 1:07 pm

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons,"

where:



:) means a smile and



:( is a frown.



Sometimes these are represented by



:-) and



:-( respectively.



Well, how about some "arse-icons"? Here goes:



(_!_) a regular arse



(__!__) a fat arse



(!) a tight arse



(__) a sore arse



{_!_} a swishy arse



(_o_) an arse that's been around



(_x_) kiss my arse



(_X_) leave my arse alone



(_zzz_) a tired arse



(_E=mc2_) a smart arse



(_$_) Money coming out of his arse



(_?_) Dumb arse
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Inspector

---

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Tue May 10, 2005 10:53 am

:)
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Inspector

---

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Tue May 10, 2005 11:04 am

One for the geeks.....
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Inspector

---

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Tue May 10, 2005 11:09 am

Happy takes some time out from his busy social life to take a short rest in the sun.........
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Inspector

---

User avatar
Inspector
Team DuD Motorsport
Posts: 5473
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:42 pm
Location: Palmerston North
Contact:

Post by Inspector » Tue May 10, 2005 11:14 am

Come on, you only need to read it once..............
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Inspector

---

Post Reply