KiwiSimRacing

A VERY SHORT STORY

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
Woman yells out window, PIG!
Man yells out window, BITCH!
Man rounds next curve.
Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.

Thought For the Day:

If men would just listen ....

Tigers at it again....

Here is my abridged version of 'Old McDonald had a farm' song.

mm mm..... and a 1... and a 2.... and a 1 2 3 4!!!

Old Mc Quadzilla had a speedway track eeeiii eeeiiii yyooooo!!!
and on his track he had a Superstock eeeiiii eeeiiii yyooooo!!!
and a vrrommm vroom here and a hit hit there!!!
here a vroom there a hit everywhere a vrrommm hit!!
Old Mc Quadzilla had a speedway track eeeiii eeeiiii yyooooo!!!
and on his track he had a Sprintcar eeiii eeiii yyoooo!!!
and a wheelstand here and a crash n roll there!!!
here a wheelstand there a crash!!! everywhere a wheelstand crash!!!
Old Mc Quadzilla had speedway track eeeiii eeeiiii yyooooo!!!
and his commentator was Aaron Drever!! eeei eeiii yyoooo!!!
and he said "dear oh dear!!!!" and "dear oh dear"!!
here a dear, there a dear evreywhere a dear dear!!!
Old Mc Quadzilla had speedway track eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiii eeeeeeeeeiiii yyoooooooooooooooo!!!

Pit bulls are for Sissies, This is how Nigerians Roll !

Got caught w**king while sniffing my mate's sisters knickers yesterday. Wouldnt have been so bad but she was wearing them at the time. He went nuts! Yep that made the rest of her funeral awkward..

Why should i have pay for 2

--- VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES ---


How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure..

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.

A charity single has been released in aid of the Pakistan Flood Relief. It's called, "Raindrops Keep Falling On Ahmed."

A little Pakistani girl goes to her mother and says, "Mummy, I don't want to be a lesbian when I grow up!"
Her mother says, "What makes you think you'll be a lesbian, Minjeeta?"

The rescue workers at the Pakistan flood area say that the smell of bodies is unbearable. They expect it to get worse when they start finding the dead ones.

If historical events had facebook status'

This dude is a legend haha

lol clive thats awesome


WRAP YOUR BRAIN AROUND THIS:


This is so strange !!!!

A. Did you know that the word "race car" spelled backward still spells "race car"?

B. Did you know that "eat" is the only word that if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"?

C. And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants" and add just a few more letters, it spells out: "Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, kid-producing, violent, non-English speaking fucks, and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-ferking, raggedy-assed towel heads with you"?

How weird is that ???

LMAO...no seriously Tuf... Have you been to my work